I promise I sat in my seat when the call came. I had all the answers, I knew why I was struggling and I had all the knowledge to fix it. I, I, I... repeated in my mind and so I stood up and walked down the aisle. There I found confirmation from a voice. She spoke everything I needed to release, recognizing the burdens and cried out with me. Within moments a heard a sweet voice singing and I recognized it, as many times before it has ushered in the presence of God. This beautiful sound was ordered and it brought with it just what was needed.![]()
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There is a song that just says, when the glory is in the room, nothing else is needed ✨️ 🎶
Mark your calendars...It's going to be Fantastic!
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She looked at me and said, "I dont want you to get hurt"I contemplated this thought but even more my response when I told her it comes with loving. It flowed from my tongue but the memories of each heartbreak flashed before my eyes.![]()
I remember how my body and mind responded each time, how I spiraled and lost my appetite for everything. I was so sick and yet today I wouldn't change a thing. ![]()
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Maybe this time it will be different. Maybe my deepest desires will be recognized and love will be all the things God showed me in my healing. Maybe I get the chance to love and be loved. Just maybe that is what is coming..
In the waiting I was definitely broken. I had moments that weren't moments but more like loss time. I have cried too. Sometimes I welcomed the tears because there was a time I was so hard, tears escaped me. I will never not want them again. They ushered in something new, something that aided in the healing of my wounds, something that allowed the ache to shift.![]()
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In the waiting, I definitely changed. I poured into new things, and gave more than I thought I had. I became intentional. Worked on discovering who I was and whose I was. I defined self-care and took the steps to make it part of my life. I scheduled it, day to day, week to week, month to month, year to year.![]()
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In the waiting, I have grown. I am still growing and I am still becoming.
I so have this advice ready. I mean it is piped and like icing on a cake. And I know its solid because I lived it it, studied throught it and needed to hear it myself today. ![]()
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I wrote this long message and somehow it was lost before it ever posted. Knowing all things happen for a reason, I realize it was missing something. And so here is the short of it..![]()
1. Appreciate your gifts![]()
2. You are uniquely you for a reason![]()
3. Be intentional ![]()
4. Trust the process![]()
5. The beauty of art is it always more or less.![]()
6. Your surrender makes room His favor
Today I took the keys from myself, refused to get dressed and spent some one on one time with myself. In the end, I ate 3 square meals, exercised and took a few naps. I need to schedule more days like this..
a few me things:![]()
1. Do great things![]()
2. be better not bitter![]()
3. Where is mommy? When?![]()
4. Life be lifing ![]()
5. beloved is one of my favorite words when God talks about me.![]()
6. I am learning every day to love me!![]()
7. making room is both physical and mental![]()
8. arms wide open, let God be God in my life![]()
9. I want to leave a legacy for my children's children![]()
10. I want to share my life with someone*
She doesn't know it, but there are times when she picks up the phone thinking she just needs to talk to me, she is cheering me on. We can talk about just anything. She is just a teen, but she can't be told that. I share with her, laugh with her and drop a few nuggets about pushing forward, having hope, and not being cocky but confident. ![]()
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She doesn't know it, but there are times she is teaching me more than I can imagine. There are these time she digs in and won't quit, when she becomes so determined not to win, but to finish. The times she defends my honor. I try to tell her it isn't necessary to fight battles like that. That sometimes we have more power in walking away. I told her just yesterday, that I am still beautiful. I told her, the comment true or not, I am still beautiful. ![]()
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This morning as I wash all the comments that were spoken about me or over me. I sort through what brings value to me and what I release. Some like those noseems, left bite marks I will deal with for weeks, but I am determined to be better.![]()
I'd like her to know those things were heard. I chose my outfit a little more carefully, I made sure and had a little more covering, but I remain who I am; pushing forward. Cheering for her, cheering for me, hoping, praying? loving ❤️